Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

The solar system as we know it may change forever - Notebookcheck

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

My girlfriend lied and said she never gave oral until me. She was very skilled. I’m upset with her lying. Do I dump her?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand how hurricane paths work

What does K mean in Vietnamese?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do some men love sucking cocks?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do you think it is bad to allow people to self-identify as a different gender?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

Scientists Discover Anti-Aging Molecules Hiding in Your Blood - SciTechDaily

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Do married men know when their wives are having affairs?

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Would Donald Trump's reelection make the world more dangerous?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What was the first Native American tribe to inhabit Long Island, NY?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Who was the guy that had sex with the AIDS monkey?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity